Graduating & Emptiness

Sitting amongst excited family members and friends, with their best dress on, eager cameras in their hands, constant cheering and clapping, happy faces & tears of joy, I patiently wait for my brother to come on stage to receive his CPA degree, a big milestone in his career. Though I am extremely proud of him, I feel a sense of emptiness, a sense of not deserving to be here to watch him get this honor, because the person who really supported him through this journey is not here to witness this first hand. I missed you mom and I wished every second of that minute, that you were there to watch your son earn his 5th and biggest degree so far. I put on a smile and a little excitement to celebrate with him, but the minute I see him walk down the stage with his degree in his hand, i see it in his eyes too, the emptiness.